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read my profile sign my guestbook  Name: Cattie-Bree Country: United States State: Missouri Metro: Kansas City Gender: Female Interests: MUSIC (anytime, anyplace, anywhere!), old-fashioned 40s stuff like pearls and love letters and black and white photographs, poetry, having good friends that know exactly what to say to make your mood do a 180, and even when they don't, it's okay, and call me a dork, but English...long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners...lol. That would be nice, but really I just like living for God and being happy. Oh, and I have a lot of weird things that describe me...if you'd like to see me smile, say something in French...um, I like people-watching (as if anyone even knows what that is) and those little imperfections that make people even more lovable...endearing qualities, I guess. And I love roses. Any color...I just love them. I know it's cheesy, but these are my favorite flowers...roses, and then white daisies, with the little yellow centers...and tulips...any color. I'm a flower freak...as I said, I like taking pictures, and coloring, and laying on my stomach on my bed, cutting out Expertise: pictures of unknown people in ads and taping them to my notebooks, on the off-chance that they might one day see them and feel important, and I like to dance. Unbridled, unfettered, and free! Just dance like no one's watching. I think that's in the bible somewhere...well, anyway, I like to save fortune cookie fortunes and slip them in random people's lockers...not knowing what happens is half the fun. I know, I sound like a loser who has no life! Ha! Good for me! Oh, and I have incredibly short fingernails. I bite them! And I don't like it! But I can't stop! My mom thinks I should just quit cold turkey but it's not that simple!! And I like smiling, but more than that, I like it when other people smile. It's contagious, and it makes me smile, too. After all, a good philosophy to live by is "Never elated when one man's oppress'd; never dejected while another is bless'd." --Alexander Pope. To be continued... Occupation: Student Industry: Art Message: message meEmail: email me Website: visit my website AIM:  BroadwayDoll06
Member Since: 11/28/2004 |
"When My Mommy Comes Back"I was just watching the Jesus miniseries (1999; watch the whole series here) and it was the part where Mary Magdalene had seen Jesus after He rose, and she was telling the disciples and they were coming around and believing, but Thomas just couldn't get over the doubts in his head. He hated it! In the miniseries, Jesus' mother, Mary, tells him, "Thomas, you must believe," and Thomas says, "I want to! I want to so badly, but my mind won't let me."It sounds like Thomas and I should hang out. I have been there this past couple of weeks, especially, but I've struggled with doubt really since I started following Jesus. There has always been doubt in my heart and now I believe God is extracting it, but it has always plagued me and make me think I was a "lesser" Christian than others. But I was watching the show and right as soon as Thomas started doubting, explaining it to the others, saying, "I just don't think I'll be able to believe it unless I can touch his wounds and see for myself," THAT was when Jesus showed up. Right away. He just appeared in the room and said, with a smile in His voice, "Peace be with you" (on the show, anyway). And everyone fell down and greeted Him with love while Thomas just stood there, frozen. At that point, he'd seen "too much to deny, too little to be sure," and was in pretty much the exact same place I've been: frozen. Unable to live wholeheartedly. Imprisoned by doubt. And then Jesus appears. Jesus says, "Thomas." And Thomas looks up, trembling, and Jesus holds out His hand and says for Thomas to feel His wounds. And I thought at that very moment, what compassion we have in our Saviour. What goodness. What justice, and yet what grace. What wondrous love is this, that when I doubt, He comes? What wondrous love is it that He could stay away and say, "Cling to your faith, and if you don't, too bad." But He doesn't! And thank God He doesn't. And maybe one day I'll be able to cling to my faith like that. But He knows what I'm ready for. I pray He'll make me ready for more, but for now, it's like He "left" for a second and then rushed back because I was doubting and freaking out--this reminds me of a song I heard when I was a little kid. It was on one of those little kid singalong tapes, and the words went something like this: "Sometimes I worry when she leaves me/I hope she won't be gone too long/But when I'm with my friends and having fun/I soon forget she's gone/But my mommy comes back/She always comes back/She always comes back to get me/My mommy comes back/She always comes back/She never would forget me..." It's like when a mom leaves her child at daycare and just when she gets beyond the door and out of sight, the child begins to cry for her, scared she's not coming back. That's how I feel sometimes. And then the mom does eventually come back--and the child is overcome with joy! I am the child and Jesus is the...well, the mom. But you get the picture! : ) I am so in love with my Jesus that I just have to remember that when He "goes," He will be back shortly. And I will have faith and remember all that He said before He left and live by it until...I will rejoice at His return! My Jesus...Come for me. I love You. In Jesus' name, Amen. (P.S. Happy Father's Day, Daddy.) c | |
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You're my God and my father, I've accepted your son I just read that quote today, and it sounds like my heart spelled out on paper. I've never heard the song, but the words speak right to me. Or right from me, rather. Since I've come to Jewell, I've been completely freaking out about just everything--I think I'm totally worthless to God, I'm not sure He's led me here, I've traveled farther from Him than ever, I've lost my passion for Him that always made me unique, I can't get a clear view of Him so that I can follow Him, I'm afraid I've screwed up the future He had planned for me; so much has gone wrong. I guess in a way I kind of blamed it on Jewell. The change of venue in all this was the biggest major change in my life at the time, and my small mind went, "Well, I was okay before I came to Jewell, and now I'm not. It must be Jewell." And I also internally blamed myself. That's always what I do, though. That just comes naturally. (INSERT EYE ROLL HERE). My heart can't see, when I only look at me I'm getting in the way, it's my fault. I am a failure and I can do nothing to save myself. I'm putting myself before God's will and I'm trying to make [fill in the blank!] fill my emptiness rather than God. It's all about me to myself. -Meghan Claire It's true! It's not Jewell. It's me. I always get in the way when God has ever tried to save me, heal me, fix me, change me, lead me, teach me, cleanse me, comfort me, or otherwise take care of me. What is it that makes me get in the way? Lord, Come with your fire, burn my desires, refine me Oh, snap. There it is. Do I have to spell it out for me? Lord, come with your fire, burn my desires, refine me... Come on, brain. You can do this. What makes me get in the way of what God is doing? What makes me stumble? When I am finally getting on the right path, what is it that always makes me look at the shiny thing on the side of the road and get sidetracked into something bad that looks really quite good at the time? WHAT IS IT? ...burn my desires, refine me... What is it that I have let get in the way? But he will burn and take away my desires and wants and thoughts and replace them with his desires and plans and will for me. I am bound in my own thoughts but I am free in his grace and mercy. Without him I'm a prisoner to myself. He's given me freedom in him like no other. when I'm left to face this world alone I will fail always, it's a fact, but [from] God I am promised life and hope that comes with nothing else but his love. -Meghan Claire Your grace is enough for me -Chris Tomlin I wonder how I would fill in the blanks. What are the desires that have been blocking me from God, and keeping Him from doing some serious soul-nourishing overhaul on me? I've been trying to find happiness and joy and even fulfillment in things other than God--friends and men (long story--not what you think) and dancing and image (dressing and acting the way I want to be seen instead of what I am...what am I, anyway?) and beauty and etc, etc... Needs to change. I forgot my reason for living. All I need is God, his grace is sufficiant and powerful to bring me from my lowest of lows to his lap where everything is right with the world and nothing can touch me because he is my Father. -Meghan Claire Through another day I need to change. God, will You just come and get into the places I'm desperately trying to keep from being healed in? And change me. Take control of every part of me, let no piece of my heart go undiscovered. You are my everything, my Father, my Lord. Take me. I'm Yours. Let me be Yours. Make me into what You would have me be...and on the way, I have a favor to ask You...can You help me find me? In Jesus' name and by His blood, Amen. | |
Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity. Trait Snapshot... craves attention, messy, open, rash, irritable, likes large parties, low self control, weird, fragile, does not like to be alone, emotionally sensitive, worrying, depressed, heart over mind, does not respect authority, dependent, not rule conscious, not good at saving money, more interested in relationships than intellectual pursuits, likes to fit in, very social, frequently second guesses self, phobic, suspicious, not careful, outgoing, vain, compassionate, aggressive, likes to make fun, hates to lose Hmm...well, what do you guys think? Does it sound like me? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Here's another one of my "this is my latest passion" entries... : ) Ok, so not only is there a way for me to glorify God with salsa, but it's also like wicked fun. : ) There is just some amazing feeling that comes with getting in at 2:00 AM, your body aching, yet still buzzing with the hot Latin beats that have been bouncing out of the speakers all night. And then the next day, you hear one of the songs you danced to last night on the radio, and you are taken back to that little corner of the dance hall where the speakers' crazy loud bass eclipsed any hope you had of figuring out the lyrics of the song, like that mattered anyway, you were just moving and happy and in love with a new man named SALSA... : ) And your hips start moving again (all by themselves!) and suddenly you are dancing to the music in your head, because there is a bangin' Latin soundtrack going on 24/7 in there since you first stepped out onto the dance floor, your hand in that really cute guy's hand...this, this right here, is SALSA.
Arriba, y'all. : ) | |||
